nce upon a time there has a young MASSAGE THERAPIST named PETE. He was SINFULLY MASTURBATING in the FUNNY forest when he met EVIL TIM, a run-away MUSICIAN from the HEINOUS Queen LIA.
PETE could see that EVIL TIM was hungry so he reached into his NALGENE BOTTLE and give him his ANNOYING HUMMUS. EVIL TIM was thankful for PETE's HUMMUS, so he told PETE a very SHITTY story about Queen LIA's daughter ANDREA. How her mother, the HEINOUS Queen LIA, kept her locked away in a CONCERT HALL protected by a gigantic HORSE, because ANDREA was so ECCENTRIC.
PETE LAUGHED. He vowed to EVIL TIM the MUSICIAN that he would save the ECCENTRIC ANDREA. He would LOVE the HORSE, and take ANDREA far away from her eveil mother, the HEINOUS Queen LIA, and MARRY her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a WEIRD ECLIPSE and EVIL TIM the MUSICIAN began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic HORSE from his story. HEINOUS Queen LIA PLAYED out from behind a UMRELLA and struck PETE dead. In the far off CONCERT HALL you could hear a MOANING.